How to Avoid (Home) Buyer's Remorse

There are SO many things that can discourage would-be home buyers from taking the plunge, but I’m willing to bet one of the most common ones these days is a fear of “buyer’s remorse”. It’s no surprise that the frenzied pandemic housing market of 2020-2022 has resulted in some less-than-satisfied buyers, and their stories are circulating on social media now more than ever. It’s understandable that cautious potential first-time home buyers are given pause by these stories, but I’m here to tell you that you have a lot more control over your results than the internet would have you think. Read on for my list of tips to avoid regretting your home purchase.

Find A Good Realtor & Lender

The first and most powerful step you can take to avoid buyer’s remorse is choosing the right professionals to work with. You’ll need a mortgage lender to assist you in getting a loan, and a real estate agent to help you with selecting and purchasing a home. There are SO many to choose from, and of course not all are made equal. How do you know who has your best interests at heart?

To start, don’t just work with the first person someone recommends to you, especially if that person is a friend or relative of theirs. Dig a little deeper: Can they tell you a little bit about how that agent or lender showed up for them? Consider the source: How similar was this person’s buying situation to yours? And of course: Always interview the professional, and ideally more than one! You should never be meeting a real estate agent for the first time at a home showing. If an agent doesn’t have time to meet you and get to know you, they probably don’t have time to take good care of you in a home purchase. 

And that brings me to my final recommendation: DON’T pick an agent just because they sell a ton of homes! Agents who do a huge number of transactions per year are likely giving each of their clients less time than those who are selling a more typical number of homes. You want someone experienced and engaged in the market, yes, but who also can take the TIME needed to help you truly understand and be comfortable in the process.

Understand Your Needs

Once you’ve found yourself an awesome lender, let them guide you to truly understanding what you need out of your mortgage payment. Being approved for a loan of a certain dollar amount doesn’t mean spending that amount per month actually makes sense for your life. Work with your lender to come up with a budget that won’t put a permanent strain on your finances.

Similarly, your awesome real estate agent will help you really dial in what you need to get out of your home, and how that fits in with your mortgage budget. A good agent will talk you through your current needs and goals for the near future and will always point out if a home you’ve expressed an interest in doesn’t align with those needs and goals, keeping you on track!

Give Yourself Time

In my business I often work with folks who have allowed their fears to prevent them from buying a home long after they were ready on paper, and that’s its own issue. But what I’m talking about here is the opposite: Don’t set an artificial deadline for the most important purchase in your life. If you’re moving from out of state, budget for an Airbnb for a few months. If your lease is ending, talk to your landlord about going month to month. If your schedule is too busy to fit in showings, talk to your boss about taking some time off. Selecting and purchasing a home should take priority over almost anything else going on in your life, and you need to take the time to do it right.

Avoid Emotional Buying

I’m not going to tell you to keep emotion out of the picture: Home buying is an inherently emotional process. BUT you should do your best to avoid letting your emotions play too big a part in your decision making. A great example of this potential is home staging. If you’ve read my blog you know that I’m a big proponent of staging when selling your home, and that’s because… it works! Seeing a house set up with beautiful furniture and art elicits an emotional response in buyers and helps them feel “at home”. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with that: It can help you see the home’s potential. But staging can also distract you from really looking at the house itself, which might have subtle condition issues or might simply not fit your needs. It can also lead you into unnecessarily competitive situations. It’s no surprise that the adorably staged house that went viral on Insta is getting a lot of attention, but just because a bunch of people are offering above the list price doesn’t mean it’s the best house on the market.

Be Ready To Walk Away

Most of the time if you make an offer to buy a house and the seller accepts it you will end up buying that house. But there is a “due diligence” period in the contract for a reason, and as the buyer it’s your job to investigate the house and determine whether you truly want it, flaws and all. I probably don’t need to harp on the need to have detailed professional inspections performed (hopefully you already know that!), but one thing many buyers are not prepared for is the possibility you might need to do those inspections more than once. 

Inspections must be paid for up front, and they can easily cost $1,000 or more. Every inspection will reveal flaws in the home, and in most cases we’re going to work with the seller on addressing the most concerning ones. In rare cases you might have committed to purchasing the home “as-is” or we might end up with a seller who obstinately refuses to work with you. It’s important in these cases not to fall for the “Sunk Cost Fallacy”. It’s better to spend that $1,000 again than to get stuck with much costlier problems down the road. 

There Is No Perfect Home

A house is not a soul mate. One more time for those in the back: A house is NOT a soul mate! There is no one single perfect home for you and believing in that can lead you to make emotional decisions. You might pass on a great home while waiting for a home that doesn’t exist. You might lay everything on the table for a home that felt like The One only to lose it to a cash buyer with no limits. I promise you this: There will always be another home that works for you. Don’t let your expectations set you up for disappointment, and don’t let perfection be the enemy of good!

Love The One You’re With

I may be dating myself a bit with this reference, but sometimes if you can’t be with the one you love… you can try to love the one you’re with. This can start in your head: Remind yourself of why you chose this home, what you’ve gained, the equity you’re building, and think of the things you DO love about it. Maybe even make a list of those things. It’s easy to fixate on the bad, but we can be intentional about centering positivity in our lives. 

But it doesn’t need to stop there! Make a list of what you DON’T love about your home, then see if there’s anything you can do about it. Even if you don’t have a big budget for improvements, there are so many things you can do that are low cost (or even free) that can dramatically improve the functionality or feel of your home. This could be as simple as painting or changing furniture and decor. My first house had very little storage, so I worked on the issue by picking up storage furniture: A $40 ottoman for my linens, an entryway bench for shoes, a corner cabinet became a pantry in my tiny kitchen. If you’re willing and able to try out a little DIY renovation you can move the needle even more. In my second home I installed a 14' wall of built-ins using the Ikea Pax closet system, doubling the closet space in my house in a single project.

On the exterior these kinds of changes are even more affordable. A lot of first-time buyers end up in neighborhoods they don’t love. You can’t move your house, but you can use landscaping and planting to create privacy and the feel of your own little sanctuary.

If you bought a fixer and your home needs a lot of repairs, consider taking the time to learn to perform some of them yourself. DIY home repair gets a bad rap, but back in the day they didn’t have YouTube University. Don’t be afraid to reach out to your community: You might be surprised which of your friends has niche knowledge of exactly the thing you’re trying to fix. Pizza and beer can go a long way! When all else fails and you need a professional, reach out to your real estate agent: I promise they’ll have LOADS of recommendations for you. And keep in mind, one of the most common reasons people access the equity in their home is to complete necessary repairs.

The bottom line is this: You are not powerless to affect change in your home!

To Sum It Up

As a Realtor who specializes in working with first-time buyers I can tell you from experience that the majority of buyers are very happy with their first home. While your first purchase often requires compromise, with careful planning and decision making you will end up in a home that you love and appreciate!